I was not in a good place that first week. I'd talk to Ryan every night and just bawl about how I wasn't up to having three kids and how it would have been smart to wait longer between. Don't get me wrong, I love Lila, Reed, and Asher and couldn't (and can't) imagine not having them. But I felt crazy for choosing to have three kids in four years. (Because really, it is kind of a crazy choice!)
Thankfully, life got just a bit easier each day. Lila started sleeping at night (waking up to eat, of course) and I felt like a new person. When my mom went back to work, I made it through the six hours she was gone--and we were all clothed (in sweats, but clothed) and fed. I didn't break down every night. Then we moved. I was still a little worried, but Lila suddenly turned into a good sleeper and would sleep in her bed, meaning I had time to actually get unpacking done, to make dinner, play with the boys, and to sneak a short nap in for myself.
(Yes, we do wear "chillers" 90% of the time. The boys are all about comfort.)
And now here we are, six weeks Later. Lila is a decent sleeper most of the time--not always, and sometimes you really have to work to get her down, but in general she does pretty well. The boys aren't fighting quite as much, though they still have their crazy days. Some days are still quite difficult and I find myself counting down to bedtime by 1 pm. Some days Ryan comes home to me, sobbing, still not quite sure I can handle three kids and pretty sure I'm doing a lousy job. But a lot of days I feel pretty good. I have three beautiful children and a wonderful husband. I might not be the best mom, but I am doing the best I can. Some days my best is better than my best on other days. But you know what? I'm happy where I am.